Lack of Color
My parents and I went to visit my friend Anna in Paris last week. Naturally, by the time I got home yesterday I had only just started to adjust to the time change over there, and so now I have to adjust back. I woke up at 6 this morning. *shudder*
For awhile I pondered what to write about the trip. I've decided not to write anything, because there's too much. If I started at all, it would become a "we did this on Monday, and that on Tuesday.." Boo.
But I will mention two things that I discovered. The first is that I can never live with my parents again, and I'm not sure I can travel with them again either, at least not without my own sleeping quarters and enough time on my own. Understand, I completely love and adore my parents. They are wonderful and generous people, and I am glad to have been born into their house. But spending every moment in their company was... taxing. Lesson learned.
A friend of mine has a brother who he didn't know about for the first decade of his life, and then lost again for the second. They've only just recently rediscovered eachother, and I think I understand now what that feels like. Anna is an old friend of mine -- one of the oldest -- and has become something like an adopted sister. I've certainly taken to referring to her that way to my other friends, and I know my parents think of her as a daughter, but I was struck this time with the power of the idea. She *is* my sister, in all the ways that really count at least. I have a sister! Who knew.
There is a tension building in the country lately. Large moments in our history are approaching, and each catalyzing event is like a single heavy footfall, stirring up the dust and scaring the birds into watchful silence. A friend wrote in her blog, "There is something brewing around here... I have this strange sinking feeling in my chest lately that we are on the brink of something huge."
I tend to see the world as a hierarchy of living things which does not stop at the individual creature. This worldview leads to my notion of spirituality, which I won't go into here, but it has some interesting implications. For example: our culture is a living entity with its own beliefs, personality, morality, and all the normal phases of development. I think it is about to pass out of adolescence, which might sound exciting and wonderful until you remember what a painful and violent experience that typically is for an individual; it is not likely to be any easier for a society. We, as a culture, will have to pass through fire into adulthood. If we're lucky, we'll grow into a wise and benevolant society-creature, but there is no guarantee; may also become a short-sighted, cruel and abusive adult society, just like some adult humans. It will be an interesting time to be alive.
On a smaller scale, I've felt the tension in myself as well. Mostly it's been centered around the prospect of moving, and all the associated financial and social and professional and practical side effects thereof. It fits nicely into the larger theme of change; the world and I both prepare for transition, for transformation. It's an exhilirating feeling of unity, like being at a concert and suddenly realizing that your own heartbeat has taken up the rhythm of the song.
But for the moment, sleep calls. Transformation is exhausting work.
For awhile I pondered what to write about the trip. I've decided not to write anything, because there's too much. If I started at all, it would become a "we did this on Monday, and that on Tuesday.." Boo.
But I will mention two things that I discovered. The first is that I can never live with my parents again, and I'm not sure I can travel with them again either, at least not without my own sleeping quarters and enough time on my own. Understand, I completely love and adore my parents. They are wonderful and generous people, and I am glad to have been born into their house. But spending every moment in their company was... taxing. Lesson learned.
A friend of mine has a brother who he didn't know about for the first decade of his life, and then lost again for the second. They've only just recently rediscovered eachother, and I think I understand now what that feels like. Anna is an old friend of mine -- one of the oldest -- and has become something like an adopted sister. I've certainly taken to referring to her that way to my other friends, and I know my parents think of her as a daughter, but I was struck this time with the power of the idea. She *is* my sister, in all the ways that really count at least. I have a sister! Who knew.
There is a tension building in the country lately. Large moments in our history are approaching, and each catalyzing event is like a single heavy footfall, stirring up the dust and scaring the birds into watchful silence. A friend wrote in her blog, "There is something brewing around here... I have this strange sinking feeling in my chest lately that we are on the brink of something huge."
I tend to see the world as a hierarchy of living things which does not stop at the individual creature. This worldview leads to my notion of spirituality, which I won't go into here, but it has some interesting implications. For example: our culture is a living entity with its own beliefs, personality, morality, and all the normal phases of development. I think it is about to pass out of adolescence, which might sound exciting and wonderful until you remember what a painful and violent experience that typically is for an individual; it is not likely to be any easier for a society. We, as a culture, will have to pass through fire into adulthood. If we're lucky, we'll grow into a wise and benevolant society-creature, but there is no guarantee; may also become a short-sighted, cruel and abusive adult society, just like some adult humans. It will be an interesting time to be alive.
On a smaller scale, I've felt the tension in myself as well. Mostly it's been centered around the prospect of moving, and all the associated financial and social and professional and practical side effects thereof. It fits nicely into the larger theme of change; the world and I both prepare for transition, for transformation. It's an exhilirating feeling of unity, like being at a concert and suddenly realizing that your own heartbeat has taken up the rhythm of the song.
But for the moment, sleep calls. Transformation is exhausting work.
posted by a at
8:43 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home